I never grew up wondering what the position of women in the church should be. Never was part of a church that relegated women to the nursery or planning potlucks or singing; in fact, the thought of a place like that, were it not for the conservative and complementarian churches that I read about or have friends who attend, would be foreign to me. It is astonishingly sad to think of our churches without the contributions of women in leadership -- a Willow Creek without the remarkable programming of Nancy Beach, Menlo Park Pres without the leadership development skills of Nancy Ortberg. These places would be so much poorer without these women, would be a shadow of what they could be.

Yet there are so many people and churches in existence who would have them stay at home with their children while their husbands were tasked with finding jobs and providing for their families. Without even entering into the conversation about the kind of pressure this puts on men, what a tragedy this is for the women whose spiritual gifts, should they fall too closely to leadership or teaching, must be ignored and caused to wither. What a loss for the Kingdom of God!

One of the greatest gifts that my father ever gave me, in retrospect, is his commitment to women in leadership. When I was eighteen, we moved from Chicago to Northern California. There was a church in southern California that had offered him a position as well - a good church, with good people, who were immobile about their commitment to maintaining a male-only teaching staff and elder board. So we didn't go. And I think it would have been easy for him, or for lots of males in his position, to ignore it. To not think about what this meant for his daughters, or his wife, or any other woman. But his commitment to women in leadership, in part, told me that I could use my gifts of leadership. His decision was an enormous, if unwitting, gift to me - because it contained a commitment to the truth of Galatians 3:28, and because it contained a commitment to me. I am so grateful to my father for that decision, to my mother for exercising her enriching gift of leadership, to a God who sustains them both.

All I want.

There are only two foods I really want when I'm sick (apart from peanut butter toast, which I want every day of the year regardless of how I'm feeling):

1. Stouffer's macaroni and cheese

2. Tombstone extra cheese pizza

And the Oscar goes to . . .

Where to start? It felt like a somewhat mediocre ceremony this year -- a crazy acceptance speech here, a stoned-looking host there, but nothing too wild to speak of. Even Helena Bonham Carter looked like a Normal Person. (Note: Further research has revealed that she was wearing a flag with the Union Jack strapped to her thigh. Thank the Good Lord!) Where were the mismatched shoes? The bodysuits or the headdresses or the on-stage ensemble numbers? The whole thing, from start to finish, was vaguely 'meh.'

(If nothing else, the evening DID yield one of my all-time favorite Oscar looks. More on that later . . . )

The first one on the red carpet was Jennifer Lawrence who, really, has come out of nowhere this year to be such a red carpet treat (and no, "treat" isn't some kind of euphemism.). It seemed kind of boring at first, like a classier, dress-length version of the Baywatch swimsuits. And when Ryan Seacrest asked her who had designed it, she couldn't remember Francisco Costa's last name, so I was yelling it at the TV which made me look like a damn fool.

But it grew on me! Really. She pulled off the 'I-just-came-from-the-beach' look better than most, and I think the way she carries herself helps a lot. I didn't want to pull her dress up or mess with her hair--it's just a lovely, simple, California Girl look, and what event is more California than the Oscars?

If you start to type "Helen Mirren" into Google, the first autofill option that comes up is "Helen Mirren is so hot." Remember the bikini shot heard 'round the world? She's worn some weird stuff in her day, but she's lived through World War II, so you've gotta give her that. I think she looked lovely on Sunday night--almost demure, but glamorous at the same time. Her hair, her jewelry, the dress, all in such good taste. It's not even a case of "She looks good for her age." She just looks good, period.

UGHHHHHHHHH.

The only thing I like about this whole outfit are her shoes. As a fellow redhead, I have a lot invested in Nicole's success. She gives us someone to aspire to, someone besides Kathy Griffin or Jessica Rabbit. And some of her fashion choices are, in my mind, inspired (see previous post).

But this one! As my friend Jess pointed out, it looks like it could have easily come straight from your local Jessica McClintock. It's way too stark white for her most people, let alone someone with her fair skin tone. Her ponytail is kind of cute, but her bangs are woefully insufficient and her choker just reminds me of an American Girl doll. And the weird hip juts that cascade into a big ribbon . . . just not doing it for me.

Okay. This one. I LOVE this color on her. Love the cut of the dress, the train, the jewelry. Even the butt pleats, which I am normally anti-, somehow worked on this one.

BUT.

Can we talk about the boobs? (I've just spent five minutes typing boob jokes here, and Zack reminded me that you guys probably don't want to read them. GOSH.) They just look . . . flat. Pancaked. Distributed. And I can't imagine that's what she was going for, but it was such a noticeable side effect of the gown that I also can't imagine she wasn't aware of it.

The dress was so close to a total victory, but I think the smooshed cleavage sort of ruined it for me.

This is probably going to stir up some controversy (for you five readers), but:

I

LOVE

THIS
DRESS.

Yes, the pleats look like a coffee filter. Yes, there is a picture-frame sized cutout in the middle of her chest. Yes, it is a little bit weird. But it is so RIGHT on her. It has something totally iconic about it, in my mind - I don't know if it's the kooky sleeves or the color combination, but this is one for the books. She looks elegant and lovely, but also fashion-forward, which isn't easy to do, and the structure at the top of the dress balances beautifully with the ladylike bottom. If Givenchy made it in white, I'd probably make Zack get married again.

Camilla Alves (Mrs. Matthew McConaughey, but not really Mrs.).

IT HAS POCKETS. Pockets! In that gown! It feels like the love child of January Jones' Golden Globes dress and the full skirts that Katharine Hepburn was known for: super feminine, probably fairly comfortable, super functional, and Old-Hollywood-glamourous. She looks stunning, not to mention that her boobs are holding up pretty well on their own here. Her clean hair and simple jewelry only add to it, really. And did I mention the pockets?!

MILA.

I am a little bit obsessed with her. I haven't seen Black Swan, so that shouldn't sound too dirty. Really, though, her career is so fascinating. She's on "That 70s Show" for what seems like nineteen years. She voices a cartoon character on "Family Guy." She dates Macaulay Caulkin who, you know, hasn't won any awards for being normal lately. And she looks like this! If I were to guess what she would look like based on all of the above, I would have gone in a different direction.

The dress is lovely. I think Monique Lhullier designed it, which makes sense because my only beef with it is that it looks a little Bridal. But other than that, I think she looks beautiful and feminine and the draping is super pretty and even the boob things are kind of growing on me.

. . . and then, there was THIS. It's like the top of her dress vomited out the tulle-encrusted bottom, and then vacuumed her in super tight to make sure that none of it could ever reach the top again. I mean, HONESTLY -- who told her this was a good idea? In a year of mostly non-superlatives, this is certainly one of the most spectacularly awful dresses I've seen.

To be perfectly honest, I don't really know much about Florence Welch besides that super catchy song and that she has a great colorist. But now I can add to that list: She only owns ONE dress. She has a very talented tailor that she keeps in her closet at home, and in between award shows she throws the dress in to her and yells "SEW!" And the tailor, swimming in a sea of discarded lace and ivory fabric, sews until her little hands bleed while Florence looks on with her one facial expression and yells "BIRDS! TIERS! THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER!"

Honorable mentions to: Reese Witherspoon's ponytail, Natalie Portman, HALLE.

Meh mentions: Hilary Swank.

Dishonorable: Melissa Leo's macrame gown (and her acceptance speech, which was CRAZY!), Marissa Tomei's weird fishtail of a dress, Gwyneth's performance, James Franco's hosting.

Here's hoping that next year gives us some more interesting material to work with, or that something crazy happens, or someone goes up in flames or punches Tom Hanks or makes out with Justin Bieber backstage. Fingers crossed!

The Oscars are less than two weeks away . . .

And I am so excited I could pee my pants. Seriously. But enough about what happened last week at the grocery store; I am just PRAYING that Gwyneth repeats something like her 2002 nightmare (seriously, I Googled "Gwyneth Awful Oscar Dress" and this was the first hit), or someone wears a dead wolf or another ballet ensemble, a la Lara Flynn Boyle or Hilary Swank in 2003. Give me something to work with!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite Oscar gowns of all time. Contemplate, enjoy, remember simpler times:

Feminst?

I read an interesting article yesterday - "7 Reasons There Are No Women Speaking at Your Conference." The author, Rachel Held Evans, talks in it about getting yet another announcement about a keynote lineup at a Christian conference. It was being headlined by six white men. No one is surprised by this, but she offers an articulate series of thoughts about why this is the case - women have their own separate Christian subculture, hold fewer pastoral positions and seminary degrees, and they're expected to be submissive.

It's a really interesting and thoughtful post, but I was a little bit (really, just a little) bothered by the opening paragraph. Specifically, the sentence in which Held says:

"not because I’m a raging feminist . . . "

In the Christian world, 'feminist' is (still) usually thought of as a four-letter word. It cuts quickly and deeply to the heart of our deep-seated and funky gender dynamic. A 'feminist' is someone who thinks that women and men are equal. It's pretty simple. And everyone, but especially Christians, should be proud to identify themselves as such.

Instead, it's become a label that Christians are quick to dissociate themselves from. I've heard so many variations of "I'm not a feminist, but I do believe that men and women are created equal."

Guess what? You're a feminist! Congratulations! You can keep right on wearing pink and getting pedicures and shopping, or wearing black and kickboxing, or wearing neutrals and going to yoga. Women have historically and systematically oppressed -- and no, it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be and yes, we have many more opportunities than our forbears. But women still get paid less than men for doing the same work. They still hold far fewer executive positions across the board than men do. And they are under more pressure than ever to look and act Just Right, some ludicrous combination of sexy and confident and demure and skinny and intelligent and not too intelligent and nonthreatening and a little bit helpless and on and on. We have a long ways to go.

So let's go there. Together. In all our messy and nonconformist ways. And let's give credence to what - and who - we are along the way.

Golden Globes 2011

I'm totally late to the game on this one, but I was visiting dear friends in Chicago while the Globes were on. And while the Midwest is known for many lovely things (Portillo's hot dogs, deep-dish pizza, the cold . . . ), it isn't the most fashion-forwa

rd place on earth. Not to say there aren't some attentive people in the region; I spent a few minutes of breakfast the next day dissecting fashion trends with my friend Shauna. But by and large, the attention was on the Bears-Hawks game, which, whatever.

The Oscars are the Big Game around here, so I'm mentally (physically, emotionally, spiritually) preparing for February 27th. The Globes can serve as sort of a poor man's Oscars, and the fashions are usually far less reverent. Which, you know, maybe explains Helena Bonham Carter? But I've gotten ahead of myself.

Since we're speaking of the Oscars, let's start with 2011 hostess Anne Hathaway . . .

Such a pretty dress. And, yeah, it has a lot going on - the long sleeves, the shoulders, the paillettes, the cling. But having a consistent color and pattern all the way through makes a big difference. I will say that, while Anne totally has the body and lovely face to carry this dress, it doesn't feel totally consistent with her demure personality. But I like the choice, and I love the hair with it.

Her report card is solid so far.

Until . . .

Now, I do not know who she is talking to (but doesn't she eerily resemble an older/facelifted version of the grandmother from gilmore girls?). It doesn't matter.

Because, just like that, the dress goes from intriguing/Dynasty-esque to Senior Ice Skating league. WHY, when you have a slim, young star, you would attach yards of Ecru Leggs panty hose to the back of her dress is beyond me.

MOVING ON!

Emma Stone was one of my favorite looks of the night. She is back to her natural blond now, and looks a little bit like Kate Bosworth from a distance, although Kate Bosworth would have cut the bottom like seven feet from this dress and painted braids on it. Anyways. I just saw Easy A and thought it was really cute, so I'm predisposed toward ES, but I think she pulled off a great look--simple, elegant, and really sophisticated. She had a nice back cutout (no hose there), and the color is so nice on her, and a welcome interruption of the jewel tones that have reigned the last few years.

Before we move on . . . Do you remember Claire's? Or the Icing? Do you remember when you got your ear cartilage pierced there when you were in seventh grade because jenna simms had her ear pierced there too and she was dating jim williams and you thought that if you had that same piercing he might think you were really cool and ditch jenna for you? Okay, good. Glad we're all on the same page. We're ready.

Because Michelle Williams' dress, I'm pretty sure, is actually a beige maxi dress on sale at Ann Taylor Loft for $29.99, appliqued with daisy pins and brooches and magnets from the Icing. And here's the thing: It's Valentino! She would have been so much better off just going with one of his iconic red dresses. Maybe that's what he should stick too, if this is what's going to come out. That, or he could change his line to Goldie Hawn and Bob Dylan's Love Child House O Fun.

It's a bummer, too, because she usually makes really great fashion choices - remember the iconic yellow Vera Wang at the 2006 Oscars? This one just seems like it may have been borrowed from a really tall 12 year-old at the last minute. And don't even get me started on her eyebrows.

CZJ was having a total Gone With The Wind moment at the GGs - and I really cannot think of anyone who could pull it off better than she. I hope that her dress really was made of impromptu drapes. Plus, she totally looks like a Holiday Barbie that my cousin and I got one year for Christmas, which makes it that much better. That forest green color was big this year - Angie's dress, Elizabeth Moss (although her hip pleats, meh).

Natalie Portman - the boob rose, again? It was reminiscent of Charlize's 2010 Oscar gown

In general, I'm not a fan of red and pink together. I mean, how much more 'Valentine chic' can you get? Plus, she's never struck me as a pink-and-red kind of girl. I mean, I get it - you're pregnant, you want to be comfortable and look good, you just did a ballet film, so, you know, pink . . . but it leaves me feeling totally 'meh,' with a little bit of 'remember how in elementary school we used to have those paper bags on valentine's day and you would just give them to the people you liked?' (right?)

helena bonham carter was, as usual, batshit crazy.

She wore two different colored shoes - which, you know, not the craziest thing she's ever done. As one blogger I read pointed out, though, we wouldn't be entirely shocked to find out that her hair is made entirely out of unraveled casette tape. I also wouldn't be shocked to find out that she chooses her dresses based on what some psychic dog named ZsaZsa Gabor XVI points to on her wardrobe Ouija board. My friend Shauna mentioned how Vivienne Westwood must cringe when she hears HBC praise her on the red carpet - Vivienne surely meant for a quirky, Carrie Bradshaw bridesmaid dress, not something that gets slapped on as an accessory to holiday-themed shoes and Yoko Ono sunglasses.

At least we can always count on HBC to give us something to talk about.

My last, and favorite, dress of the night was a total runaway.

Although, I feel that it is my duty to say upfront: Her hair could have been better. And by 'could have been better,' I mean 'was pretty plain and kind of looked liked Sandra Bullock with a bad dye job and styled by someone who treats hair-brushing as a "theory."'

But the dress. OH, the dress. It's like what Jessica McClintock wants to be with every factory prom dress it runs off, but never will be. And I mean that as a total compliment - this is the dress that every young American woman wishes she had found and worn. It is elegant and classic in its shape, but edgy in its execution and simple in its accessorizing. It is lovely, in every sense of the word: feminine, charming, and almost flirtatious.

And OMG, the shoes. BAD ASS.

Until February 27th . . .

italian men

i always have such high expectations for the first few days of the New Year -- like the stroke of midnight on december 31st should have some kind of pixie dust that transforms me and brings things like Willpower and Resolve in heaping doses. and it doesn't! it isn't magical, friends - but it is a day of embodied hope, and i can live with that.

in other news - i was just listening to 'leaving on a jet plane,' and i always used to mishear those lyrics ' i tell you now, they don't mean a thing.' in my mind, it was 'italian men, they don't mean a thing.'

So, you know. take that for what it's worth.