on aging

I literally have to roll over my 401(k).


When did I turn fifty??????

advertising by mark driscoll?

has anyone else seen the new Dockers ads? i was reading the sunday paper yesterday and came across a full page of Modern Man.

the full text of the ad is below. i would love to know what your reaction is to this:

Once upon a time, men wore the pants, and wore them well. Women rarely had to open doors and little old ladies never crossed the street alone. Men took charge because that’s what they did. But somewhere along the way, the world decided it no longer needed men. Disco by disco, latte by foamy non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny. But today, there are questions our genderless society has no answers for. The world sits idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street. For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes. We need grown-ups. We need men to put down the plastic fork, step away from the salad bar and untie the world from the tracks of complacency. It’s time to get your hands dirty. It’s time to answer the call of manhood. It’s time to WEAR THE PANTS.


Last time I checked, Dockers also sold pants to women. Additionally, if you're going to sell something to a man, tell him to walk away from foamy lattes and salad bars, something that will make him a MAN, don't you think it should be something other than pleated trousers?

It seems like the Dockers marketing team lifted copy straight from Mark Driscoll's blog - especially when you read what he has to say about biblical masculinity:
"latte-sipping Cabriolet drivers do not represent biblical masculinity, because 'real men'—like Jesus, Paul, and John the Baptist— are "dudes: heterosexual, win-a-fight, punch-you-in-the-nose dudes."

But would dudes wear Dockers?

Really would love to hear what all of you think about this. Especially you, Anna Jordan...

if i could be anywhere in the world right now . . .

well, this is usually my answer. what i would do for a slice of chocolate cake, two hot dogs with ketchup and mustard, and a medium iced tea with lemon. maybe some fries. preferably some good company to go with the food, in a corner booth, playing truth or dare and mixing condiments together even though we're 25 and should be respectable.

but, i'd take just the food, too. in case you're offering.

today

my boss told me:

"don't put all this pressure on yourself. you are doing an incredible job so far. i don't work off of the assumption that you will impress me. you already have. if i put this kind of pressure on you, you would never enjoy working here. so enjoy it."

i think i will. what a gift.

there will always be surprises along the way

"Don't worry about the future-worry quenches the work of grace within you. The future belongs to God. He is in charge of all things. Never second-guess him." 

-Francois Fenelon, as read in The Will of God as a Way of Life

i've been reading a fair amount on worry lately.  worry is based on 'unreality,' it strips us of our trust in God, and it creates a cycle of anxiety and restlessness that spin into an illusion of control.

first things worry me, and bring out anxiety in me.  i woke up in the middle of the night on friday, my chest squeezing like my heart was in a vise. a panic attack. a new marriage, a new home, a new job, a new lifestyle, a new financial responsibility. 

worry quenches the work of grace within you.  God, that is so completely true.  when i worry, i think i lose my capacity for grace. my capacity to receive it and recognize it from the Lord, and my capacity to give it openly to others. i lose flexibility in my time, and lean into my plans and ideas and timelines. 

"Whatever we decide," says jerry sittser, "there will always be surprises along the way. Worrying about our future will not change it, nor will it help us make good choices." He goes on to talk about how worry causes distraction, and (ironically) robs us of the ability to prepare for the future. 

i think part of this involves removing some of my own self-inflicted pressure to do things perfectly, to be the best wife, the most innovative employee, the kindest neighbor that there ever was.  i want to be good, innovative, and kind.  but i need most to be myself, i suppose, because if God meets me where i am and i am not there, i will probably not listen to him.

like damien rice says: time, always time.  some things just can't be rushed. and there will always be surprises along the way.

firsts

firsts are hard. but you don't ever get to the sweetness of flow without the first. so today, i'm grateful for a first. for a new start and for freshness, and for an office where i can see outside.  

a good memory

there was a week night in january or february, i think, of 2007, when i got a call from my boyfriend. he was an admissions counselor, and he was staying in bakersfield that night, visiting high schools in bakersfield and trying not to be too bored. he looked up one of our favorite musicians, to see if he could surprise me with tickets to a show in the future - but he found out that this guy would be playing at a lounge in LA that night.

so, this very spontaneous "P" of a boyfriend called his plan-ahead "J" girlfriend and suggested that they both drive from their respective places - santa barbara for her - to largo, in LA, for the show. she surprised him and said yes, and so he drove down the 5 and she went south on the 101 by the ocean until camarillo, and they parked their cars in really lucky parking spots and met each other outside the restaurant - bar - lounge - venue.

the menus had big pictures of marty feldman on the cover, and it was hard to get over the googly eyes while they ordered their penne al pesto and red wine, but the whole place was eccentric. their table was a few feet from the musician, and the opening act pleasantly surprised them, and it was the kind of night that made them both exhausted the next day and that found them both on solitary highways at 2 in the morning on a thursday, the moon glimmering off the ocean for one and almond fields for the other.

she had so much fun that she went back the next night with three girlfriends, and again the next year. and now, coming up on three years later, these two are sitting together in their little bungalow of a house listening to teitur less than one month after they got married to each other. it was a good time. it is a good memory.