california

So. Half the state is on fire; it's the fourth of july, and after a night of rum coolers and sweet valley high on dvd (not by myself-i haven't gotten quite to that place) I find myself here. Wanting to write, and pressing clumsily on the keyboard that Blackberry so thoughtfully provided for occasions such as this, and drunk texting. Again, not at that place.
On the day that is set aside for honoring our country (or technically 33 minutes after that day has passed, if one has been caught up in the tumultuous lives of the Wakefield twins for the last several hours), I find myself wishing that there was more worthy of being honored. In this, I do not mean to condescend or belittle, but to point out my belief that our country has a sort of global myosis; a nearsightedness that has harmed others for decades and will prove fatal to us if we aren't able to change.
The fourth of July is meant to be a celebration of freedom and progress. It should be a day when our enlightened and thoughtful values are spotlighted; our broad world view celebrated. Instead, we live in a hegemonic nation that defends the rights of all citizens to own weapons that do far more harm than good and denies most gay members of society the right to marry the person he or she loves. We don't extend the most basic human rights to those born outside our borders, and we speak about celebrating our differences while we practice discrimination. We are, none of us, innocent. There is blood and guilt on my hands. What we want and what we have seem so irreconcilable that we relinquish hope.
And only a god big enough to save us all, to love us all, can make things right. Only this god can be cause for celebration. And only in our quests for independence can we finally know the goodness of dependence on him.