adventures in lunchables

i might be the only one, but every once in a while i'll have a day where i just. eat. EVERYTHING. it's like the chemicals that are supposed to tell my brain that i'm full just forgot, or got lazy and were running half an hour late. i eat like an insatiable pregnant lady. i got the hunger attack yesterday afternoon, and started with string cheese, cottage cheese, crackers with brie, a slice of pizza, cool ranch doritos, and a lunchable. yes, a lunchable. and not just any lunchable, mind you - a bologna one. kept in the bottom section of the fridge for my picky-eater brother, i reflected nostalgically on third-grade school lunches and couldn't resist. mystery meat and cheese product has never tasted so good.

chocolate-covered almonds and two riesens had to suffice as dessert, until i realized that the package of flour i kept seeing in the back of the pantry was actually a 12-ounce bag of nestle chocolate chips. i thought baking cookies would be a good idea - mostly because while i was baking, i couldn't so much be eating - until i realized i was going to be away this weekend, and couldn't stand the thought of anyone else eating MY cookies, so i gave up and ate the dough. off the beaters. not just the dough that was on there from mixing, noooooo . . . . i used them like giant spoons to pick up dough and dough and more dough and kept going even when i knew the tummy-ache that would follow is proportional in pain to the amount of batter i consume. i couldn't stop.

thankfully, i've returned to my normal grazing habits today, and still weigh less than 3000 pounds. i swear off lunchables every time i do this, yet somehow fall prey to their fatal allure time and time again - like the food-induced smoke that wafts out of the room and curls into a 'come-here' gesture in cartoons, i cannot resist a stack of pinkish meat on cold crackers.