Monday, January 12, 2009

the most wonderful time of the year

awards season is upon us.

the ugly duckling to the oscar's swan, the golden globes, aired last night without much fanfare. slumdog millionaire won best drama, which is good because it should have, and kate winslet swept the 'actress' category. 30 rock won stuff too, which is also good. but that is not what i want to talk about.

see, this was the 66th annual golden globe awards. incidentally, it was the 66th year in a row that i was not invited to attend. or the 23rd if you count by years i've been alive, but whatever. it all adds up to the same thing.

given the snub from the golden globe people and the fact that mr. blackwell died this year, i will now offer my own scathing fashion critique. take that, hollywood.

the five worst dressed people at the golden globes, in no particular order . . .

1.) blake lively

'oh, sweetie, no,' is, i think, the phrase that best captures this choice--as well as the first thing her stylist should have told her.

she is so gorgeous--and who doesn't love/envy serena van der woodsen? she would have been waaaaay better off choosing something from the gg wardrobe, even jenny's. how did she end up with the one dress that looked totally unflattering on her? it's seriously a mystery.

2.) eva la rue

okay, before you are all "who is this girl in the pirate shirt?" i have one word for you:

i don't, actually, because i had to look her up on imdb and even then found out that she is sometimes on csi:miami and once guest starred on 'dallas.' which seems to me like they are generationally mutually exclusive, but what do i know?

the outfit, though. where did it go wrong? skirt? great. shoes? so cute. clutch? nice.
oh, i know. the blouse. the full-on, i-was-on-dallas, i-loved-that-seinfeld-episode, puffy shirt shirt. eeeeesh.

3.) sting

i'm sorry to say it, because it's sting and all, and maybe this was just a terrible angle. but it can't be that. he looks like a terrorist from '24.' why are you so mad, sting?

4.) renee zellweger

okay, really? did someone tell her she was going to a funeral? i can't help but borrow this description from one of my favorite websites:

She looks like Crazy Aunt Ne-Ne, who's been let out of her attic for the first time since TV was black-and-white, crawled down a gin bottle, tasered her minders, and is now trying to hail a cab to the nearest military base to show our boys some real gratitude.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

5.) rumer willis. miss golden globe.

i'm sure it's really hard, being bruce willis's biological daughter and having a stepdad that you lust after and being friends with lindsay lohan and all. but don't take it out on the rest of us. that's just mean.

top 5 best dressed of the night . . . still to come.

1 comment:

betsie said...

just because you're WERE invited to the Golden Globes, doesn't mean you can just wear anything! Sheesh.