Tuesday, September 8, 2009

all roads lead to LAX

i'm convinced that this is true in my life. while i was walking down its storied halls yesterday, i tried to add up how many hours i've spent in that place. i stopped counting early on, because that's the kind of thing i give up on quickly. so let's pretend the number is somewhere between 24 and 500. i think that's realistic.

necessary stops include wolfgang puck's in the united terminal. united is really the only airline i fly with consistency, so i don't have many other suggestions, as one probably should when one begins a list of 'necessary stops.' there was a burger king in the virgin america terminal i was at yesterday, but i didn't go to it.

across from said wolfgang puck's (where the cashiers are always mad at you, by the way), is one of those 'california' shops with pre-packaged see's candies, magazines, newspapers, LA paraphernalia, bottles of water for $4.99, curio, kitsch, souveneirs, and bric-a-brac.

i would recommend picking up an US or PEOPLE magazine for your flight. somehow, it always seems to me, if there are people in the world who write about what katie holmes at for breakfast or how jon gosselein cheated on his 23 year-old girlfriend with a STAR magazine reporter but then went back to her (and it's not that i don't care; believe me, i care) -- somehow, it seems like the world that allows that kind of minutiae to be published will surely not allow a planeful of people to die upon takeoff. this is why i always read trashy magazines on takeoff. this is also my advice to people who deal with planeophobia, which as we all know, is the real name for fear of flying.


Lesley Miller said...

Oh, girl...you speak my love language. I will NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT fly without a trashy magazine. I give some credit to overcoming my flyophopbia to Benny P who gave a great chapel sermon once on how he overcame his fear of flying. But, I give most credit to trashy magazines because nothing on this earth can distract me more.

Mallory said...

remember when we were at wolfgang puck's at the airport and they didn't make your pizza? that was stupid