Monday, April 4, 2011

No Scrubs

Some people do really great, educational things on road trips. Things like stopping at museums, listening to the Classics on tape, having life-giving conversations with their fellow travelers.

Mallory (sister) and I drove to Santa Barbara on Saturday, and home on Sunday. We did no such useful things, instead filling our time with the Alphabet Game (it's super complicated, don't ask), spending an hour to find a particular Baskin Robbins (it's closed), and memorizing the rap that Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez (RIP) performs during "No Scrubs."

Oh, you want proof that we memorized it? My word isn't good enough for you? Clearly you have trust issues, but lucky for you, I'm happy to oblige. I will dictate it, word-for-word, to my transcription robot. (Okay guys, not really, I'm just typing).


See, if you can't spatially expand my horizons
Then that leaves you in a class with scrubs, never rising.
I don't find it surprising if you don't have the G's to please me and bounce from here to the coast of overseas.
Let me give you something to think about
Inundate your mind with inventions to turn you out
Can't forget to focus on the picture in front of me
View as clear as DVD on digital TV screen
Satisfy my appetite for something spectacular
Check your vernacular
Then I'll get back to you (really, more like 'ya')
With diamond-like precision
Insatiable is what I envision
Can't detect that position from your friend's expedition (I don't know if 'expedition' here is a reference to the Ford Expedition SUV, or a long and arduous journey undertaken with a specific purpose in mind. Clearly, Left Eye was a women who saw every facet of this concept.)
Mister! If really, if you really wanna know.
Ask Chilli: Could I be a silly ho?
Not really - T-Boz and all my senoritas are stepping on your feelers.
But you don't hear me though.

You're welcome.

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