Find the Source of Your Loneliness

with thanks to Henri Nouwen . . .

"Whenever you feel lonely, you must try to find the source of this feeling. You are inclined either to run away from your loneliness or to dwell in it. When you run away from it, your loneliness does not really diminish; you simply force it out of your mind temporarily. When you start dwelling in it, your feelings only become stronger, and you slip into depression.

The spiritual task is not to escape your lonelieness, not to let yourself drown in it, but to find its source This is not so easy to do, but when you can somehow identify the place from which these feelings emerge, they will lose some of their power over you.

This identification is not an intellectual task; 

it is a task of the heart. 

With your heart you must search for that place without fear.

This is an important seach because it leads you to discern something good about yourself. The pain of your loneliness may be rooted in your deepest vocation.

You might find that your loneliness is 

linked to your call to live completely for God. 

Thus your loneliness may be revealed to you as the other side of your unique gift. Once you can experience in your innermost being the truth of this, you may find your loneliness not only tolerable but even fruitful. What seemed primarily painful may then become a feeling that, thought painful, opens for you the way to an even deeper knowledge of God's love."

(From The Inner Voice of Love, emphasis added)