Tuesday, July 13, 2010

comparative yoga

and again, it all comes back to yoga.

i went last night. laid out my mat in the usual spot, stretched, and no sooner had i laid down for my pre-yoga nap than my mind began to race with the comparative competencies of the people around me. the guy with the curly hair who does the hop-up thing reeeally well, but otherwise just sits in prayer position most of the class. the woman in all black with cropped blond hair who, even with a wrist brace can do a headstand that puts the rest of us to shame. the new girl in the magenta top--ooooh, she's grabbing one of the studio's mats. she doesn't even have her own; she's in over her head.

really, who am i kidding? this started before i even walked into the studio, when i started wondering who would be in class and who i would be better than and who i could try to beat. in yoga! has my need for recognition really grown so trivial that i need to win at yoga? then again, i guess, the need for recognition is inherently trivial and immature. still, this feels like a particular low. but that's what happened. i compared and compared all class long, with intermittent guilt breaks. when does it start to get better?

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