Yesterday was one of my worst days with anxiety in a long time. Anxiety is a funny thing that way; it can seem completely banished for a long time and then rears up at unexpected moments. There were no big changes occurring, nothing strange happening, nothing, in short, that would seem to predicate an onset of dizzying anxiousness. But there it was, a familiar specter, squeezing my heart like a vise and setting my mind racing about everything and nothing at once.
When I'm feeling that anxious, it's as if everything that doesn't really matter, in the long run, is of the utmost importance all of a sudden, and the things that really do matter to me almost disappear. I grasp at straws for hours on end, convincing myself that control over my circumstances is what I'm really looking for.
I'm trying to give myself a break today, to rest in what is important and how I am known. It is harder work for me than almost anything else I do. But I know that God is in it. And my job is to be found by Him.
3 comments:
i'm so sorry girl
The spirits (demons) of anxiety are all around you because you dabble in all the occult practices that your father John Ortberg teaches you. When you try techniques to turn your mind blank and invite anything and anyone in while in an altered state of consciousness (by trying to seek secret inner voices etc via the enchantment/divination and labyrinthine etc mysticism your father peddles)you are saying NO Jesus, I reject your Word and your warnings... I will not read your Words and revelation...I can find my own secret knowledge by meditating and looking inward. So your father encourages you to let yourself be raped spiritually every day when he teaches you Richard Foster type dabblings to open yourself up to who knows what or who will fill the void. This can cause anxiety. Since you ask for suggested reading, please take a solid translation of the Bible with you on vacation, and a Strongs Concordance and some books that expose the cults and the new age/new spirituality movements.
Anonymous --
This is the last time I'll publish one of your comments. As I have said before, this is not the place to attack my parents, and certainly not the place to do so without even the courage to name yourself.
You have an incredibly skewed vision of who my parents are and what they teach, but I don't suspect anything I say will convince you of that. It would behoove you, however, to acquaint yourself with what people like my father and Richard Foster are actually saying, rather than relying on gross misinterpretations.
And, for now, that is all. If you have anything more constructive to say or want to address me, I'll listen. Otherwise, your hurtful and mean-spirited attacks are done here.
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